Is it Really ADHD or Just Too Much Pressure?

I’ve always contented that we, as a society, are too quick to label our kids with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, pump them full of meds and forget about the issue.  I’ve read two articles recently that support my theory.

I’m not saying that ADHD doesn’t really exist or that there are indeed extreme cases in which medications are needed to moderate behavior.

However, I feel that society finds it easier to tack on the ADHD label than to work on a development issue.

The MSNBC.com article “Who is to blame for boys struggling at school?” talks about how boys are more often targeted for ADHD.

“According to the Centers for Disease Control, in 2003, 14 percent of boys across the nation were identified as having ADHD by the time they reached their sixteenth birthday. And the percentage is continuing to grow.”

It went on further to add.

“Either we are witnessing the largest pandemic in our country since influenza struck in the United States in 1918, or school-age boys are being overidentified and overdiagnosed.”

But if you read the article, the offending behaviors are just typical boy behavior.  C’mon we all did that kind of stuff as a kid.  But because it disrupts the classroom, it must be a medical issue.

Let’s look at why it’s disrupting the classroom.  What are we asking our kids to do in the classroom these days?  The list is getting bigger and bigger by the day.

When I was a kid, kindergarten was more about learning how to behave in school.  We had play time and nap time and we might learn our letters, colors and numbers.

But these days, the pressure is on.  Preschool is now where kids learn the basics – and sometimes even more.  And by kindergarten they are already learning to read.  Some people are even holding their kids out of kindergarten until they are six so they know more going in.

School days are filled with a variety of work and little time to play.  Then the kids come home and have more work to do.  Some schools don’t even allow kids to talk during lunch to keep lunch time to a minimum and get the students back in the classroom.

Kids are kids, they have lots of energy. We must allow them some time to be a kid, to have fun, to goof off.

If they are in school all day and aren’t allowed to talk during lunch, when are they allowed to be themselves? If we don’t give them some time to express themselves and be a kid, they will make their own.

I think it’s unrealistic of a teacher to think (especially with the younger ones) kids are going to sit still and pay attention for 6-8 hours a day. Heck, I know most adults that can’t do that.

It doesn’t mean we should start medicating everyone.

The solution is two-part. Parents need to work with their children on appropriate behavior and offer them an alternative activity during non-school hours to exert some of that energy. Teachers must be willing to teach in a method most conducive to the child rather than what’s easiest for them.

The New York Times article “Training Young Brains to Behave” talks about why kids are so quick to move from one topic to another.  A short-attention span is natural.

“One reason is that an area of the brain that is critical to inhibiting urges, the prefrontal cortex, is still a work in progress.”

It’s not ADHD, it’s a development issue. .

“Some children’s brains adapt quickly, while others’ take time.”

The article goes on further to discuss how much this erratic behavior changed when teachers and parents took time to work with the child on self-control, memory and flexibility.

When this behavior is shaped “it is more strongly associated with school success than I.Q.” 

Imagine that – long-term results without any drugs and all it required was a little effort on the part of parents and teachers.

Finally, the study also said “Although play is often thought frivolous, it may be essential.”

I think as adults we often overlook this very key piece in children’s development. I know for myself, I have to do a mental check to make I’m not overscheduling my kids, that I’m allowing time for them to just play.

What do you think?  Is ADHD overdiagnosed?  Are we putting too much pressure on our youth to succeed?

The Anxiety of the First Day of School

My kids started school this week.  Okay, so it was just preschool and they only go for ½ a day two days a week, but for me it was still this big milestone in their lives.

The twins didn’t seem to give the idea of going to school to school a second thought.  But then they have been going to some type of class (gym, art or music) by themselves for more than a year.  And they even went to camp for three hours once a week this summer.

But even so, I got to thinking about the idea of the first day of school.  I remember it being a big point of anxiety for me, but maybe that’s because I grew up a military brat who changed schools quite a bit.  For me, the first day of school each year often meant a new school with new people.  And as a child I was extraordinarily shy.

While I never remember separation anxiety – could be why my kids showed no signs of it – I do remember having butterflies in my stomach and dreading the thought of entering a school where everyone already had their friends established.

But I made it through it.  And apparently my kids did too.  They are lucky in that they got to share this experience with each other.

I remember my first day of school.  I didn’t go to preschool.  My first day was for kindergarten and I had to ride the bus – a really big deal when you are smaller (and younger) than all the other “more experienced” school kids.

I remember standing at the bus stop with my mom waiting for the bus to arrive.  She was telling me how to remember my bus stop so that I could get off in the afternoon.  My bus stop was at the corner of a baseball field.  I was to look for the backstop to know when to get off the bus.

I don’t remember much about that day at school, but I remember the bus ride home.  I sat diligently at the window looking for that backstop.  The idea of missing my bus stop scared me silly.

Then I saw it – the backstop.  I didn’t expect it so soon.  But I got up and got off the bus.  The bus pulled away just as I realized my mom wasn’t there.  Now what do I do.

I’m five.  I’m not allowed to cross a street by myself and here I am at the wrong bus stop.  Who do I go to for help?

While I’m internalizing all this information, the bus has gone on to my correct bus stop a block away.  My mom realized I wasn’t on the bus and realized (I don’t know if another parent or some kids told her) that the previous bus stop also had a baseball field.  And before I know it my mom was there to meet me.

The next day, the parents tied some kind of ribbon to the backstop at my bus stop and I never got off at the wrong bus stop again.

It amazes me that after all these years (really, it hasn’t been that many), that that bus stop tidbit is what I remember about my first day at school.

It wasn’t what outfit I wore or who I met or – God forbid – what I learned that day that stood out.  It was the bus ride.

I wonder what my kids will remember about their first day.  They didn’t ride a bus so that can’t be it.  But I’d love to know what they remember 20 or 30 years from now.

What do you remember from your first day of school?

Finally, a Children’s CD Parents can Enjoy

I’ve listened to enough Wiggles songs to make my head explode.  I’ve heard every song that Dora the Explorer and her cousin Diego have ever recited.  I know all the words to the Sesame Street classics.  But what else can I do?

You see my children like music – I mean really like music.  And in my effort to be a good parent, I try to cultivate that interest by surrounding them with music they enjoy.

And while they might treasure the sounds of their favorite TV characters, the repetition of that music on a daily basis is enough to test the sanity of even the best parents.

But when I’ve overdosed on children’s music, I can hardly put in Aerosmith or the Rolling Stones.  Not only is the language and references to sex and drugs questionable content for two year olds, but my kids find most of my music choices too loud (I know it’s only a short amount of time before I have the same claim about their music).

But I think I’ve finally found a CD that the children and I can enjoy together.  That Baby CD combines music made famous by some of my favorite artists with a nice acoustic sound that my kids can enjoy too.

“We are one of the few out there that have decided to take children’s music into a new direction,” said Rob Wolf, co- founder of OyBaby LLC, company behind That Baby CD.

That Baby CD has pushed children’s music further than ever before by trying to create “something that the entire family can enjoy,” Rob said.

And I think That Baby CD did just that.  The music is danceable.  The children can clap their hands to it.  Parent can – and will want to – sing along with the music, music they know from artists like Bruce Springsteen, the Beatles, Fleetwood Mac and Bob Marley. 

This CD has something for everyone.  It’s perfect for those long car rides when tensions run high and boredom sets in.  Parents can feel comfortable about putting in That Baby CD to liven up those long trips with some snappy music that gets your feet tapping and your voice singing along with the familiar words.

“I think the music has to accessible to [the children].  It has to have melodies that are catchy and words that are appropriate,” Rob said.

Rob combined his hobby video editing with Lisi’s photography skills and the pair’s love of music to produce their third children’s album.

“We struck a chord with a product that fits a need for a lot of families,” Rob said, adding that it’s a labor of love for him and Lisi.

The Wolfs first venture, OyBaby, and its sequel OyBaby 2, focused on Jewish music for babies and kids.  They wanted a way share their Jewish heritage with their children.  Both albums were well received with more than 40,000 copies sold in the U.S. and 15 other countries.

So when non-Jewish friends started asking the Wolfs for a CD that they could enjoy with their children, Rob and Lisi were happy to oblige.

In 2007, the Wolfs decided to take the things that succeeded in OyBaby and turn them into a non-religious product.  And it was only natural for them to turn again to their friend Stephanie Schneiderman, and her sisters Lisa Schneiderman and Kim Palumbis, to record their songs.

Stephanie, who has done the arrangement for all three of the Wolfs’ children’s albums, is an accomplished musician in her own right with five solo albums under her belt.  She and her sisters sing 10 of the 14 songs on the CD.

And the 14 songs came out of a lot of brainstorming on Rob and Lisi’s part.  After weeks of looking for potential songs, they came up with a list of 30 which they eventually pared down to those on the CD.

But don’t ask Rob to pick his favorite:

“That’s like asking me which is my favorite child,” he said.

I, on the other hand, have already selected my top choices – The Pretenders “Brass in Pocket” and 10,000 Maniacs “These are Days.”

The kids and I put the CD in and dance around the living room to those two tunes all the time.  It’s a great chance for them to experiment with their own dancing style.

But if you are afraid that that your little one won’t identify with the words, then you should try out That Baby DVD that comes with a child-friendly video accompaniment for each song (the picture at the top of this article is from video for Jonny Lang’s “Anything is Possible”). 

The DVD gives the children a chance to “visually put their mind to” an image when they are later listening to the CD in the car.

So if you are looking for music for your children that won’t drive you crazy, check out That Baby CD. 

Does a Good Preschool Translate into Great Education and Success?

Exactly how important is preschool?  Seriously, does enrollment in a good preschool guarantee a great education?  Does it prepare the student to somehow take in and retain information better?  Will a quality preschool education guarantee a person a successful career?

Or is preschool just another status symbol in our “keeping up with the Jones” society?

Recently, parents in Houston camped out for three days all for a coveted spot in a preschool. 

One mother was quoted as saying “The statistics of the kids coming out of the school is well above average.”  What statistics?  How do they know it’s the benefit of the preschool and not some other education or outside experience the child had?

My children weren’t even one when someone asked me what preschools I had put them on waiting lists for.  My children couldn’t even talk, I hadn’t thought of preschools yet.  And waiting lists?  I thought those were something for college not preschool.

I was totally flabbergasted.  I was a new mom.  Did I really need to be thinking of preschool already?

To be honest, I don’t even remember if I attend preschool myself.  Did you?  Are we any better or worse for that experience or lack of it? 

Yes, I know times have changed and the education system is not like it was when I was a kid (which, for the record, wasn’t that long ago!).

Today, I went to an open house for a preschool for my children (they will be three by the time classes start in September).  I chose this preschool because it was recommended to me by a friend who had sent both of her children there.  Both of her children seem to be well adjusted, intelligent kids for 4 and 6 year olds.  The one who has started school seems to have made the transition with ease.  Does that make this a great preschool?  I don’t know.

My husband was unable to come with me because the kids were sick and beforehand we were discussing what I should look for and ask about?  The brochure covered the basics – costs, days of the week, hours, class size. 

Besides the basic safety questions, what else do I ask?  Is there one way of teaching numbers, colors and shapes that is so much better than another?  Isn’t the point of preschool to slowing introduce the concept of a classroom setting and to socialize with others that age? 

Besides price, safety and the quality of teachers, what makes one preschool better than another? 

In fact, do you really think that preschool can impact a child’s future education and career?